An Opportunity for Unsolicited Advice and Many Hugs
Years ago I asked, in my youthful manner during the once again sex talk, “Mom, how do you know if you’re gay?” “Don’t worry about it, you like boys, you always have” was her loving reply. That was the last time I asked my Mom about my sexuality, or my identity. At the time I didn’t have the words for myself, so it was hard to ask questions for which the answer was something that didn’t really help me.
Many (many) years later, when on a visit home from University, we had a very different conversation. I told her I was Queer, flat out, after a few glasses of wine. She looked at me, so I blurted “I just don’t want you to freak out if I ever bring home another woman”. She sighed, and looked at me, her brow furrowed.
“What is it Mom?” I asked, terrified about the things she could say.
“I just want your life to be easy, and same sex relationships aren’t something I would have chosen for you. I mean, why put yourself outside of society like that?” I was tense; she could see I was worried.
“It’s not really something, I think about.” I replied.
She pulled me in for a hug telling me that she would always love me, no matter who I brought home. She reminded me of all the boys I had dragged through the house before, she and I had a few well deserved laughs at my ex’s expenses.
Later my mother confided in me that she wasn’t surprised, but she also didn’t expect that conversation. I am lucky to have such an accepting and supportive family, coming out was no different than any other announcement; an opportunity for unsolicited advice and many hugs.