Jamie’s Story

Jamie’s Story

Hello. My name is Jamie and I’ve been out of the closet for over a year now.  My whole life I always knew I was gay. Growing up it was something I denied; I told myself it wasn’t true. Deep down I knew I was, but when you lie to the world for so long, you begin to believe your own lies. It was about two years ago where I started realizing I really had true feelings for boys. I met this boy at a party, and I remember talking to him and really feeling attracted to him. Everything he said I was so interested in, every time he needed a drink I made one for him; it was quite funny looking back at it now.  That night I went home and he texted me telling me he felt what I was feeling and I remember feeling so excited but also feeling extremely scared. People couldn’t know I was gay, I fought so hard to not be “the gay kid” but it was truly pointless. The boy and I talked, but both of us were way too scared for it to go anywhere.

Time went on, and it was spring break and I was at my sister’s apartment and I texted my best friend at the time and told her I was gay.  The feeling of relief and excitement overcame me like a crash of a tidal wave.  I began telling more and more friends, and eventually most of my good friends knew. Though I was so proud of myself for telling my friends, I still hadn’t told my family. That was something I was truly frightened off.  At this time though it was the middle of spring and I had actually met my first boyfriend.  I remember how happy he made me and I knew he needed to meet my family.

So, growing up in a generation of ever growing technology, I added a picture of him chasing ducks with the caption saying “Babe, I don’t think the ducks want to play.” My Facebook blew up with messages concerning him.  Feeling over-whelmed, and clearly putting little thought into my actions, I made a status saying “I’m gay, YOLO bitches.” That is how the majority of my family found out.  As humorous as I still think this is, it was so inappropriate and careless of me. I am blessed with a very caring and understanding family, though they would have appreciated me coming out face to face to them, they took me as I am.  They love and support me no matter what. After a series of useless men in my life I know I always have my family at the end of the day. I am truly blessed and I hope that anyone coming out puts the thought of their family into it, because as minor as being gay is, it is still a lot for them to take in. Thank you for reading my story and I hope I help anyone struggling.

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